Friday, November 7, 2008

Of All the Idiotic Things...

My mother took my cell phone and tried to take my money this morning. She took my cell phone because I've supposedly been using up all the minutes. And this morning (actually, only roughly 15 minutes ago) she woke me up for my meds (because she insists she has to watch me take them) and to wake me up she walks in the room and bursts out, "Oh! Money!" because I had thirteen dollars sitting on my drawing board next to my mouse cage. Then I got extremely pissed (why would someone want to be woken up in that manner?) and argued with her about her methods of waking me up. Then she took my money, which I've been trying to save up, and I only get so much a week because I don't have a job (and getting one isn't the best idea right now, considering my state of mind) and wouldn't give it back until I took my meds. I'm am so sick of her. She's always waking me up in the most annoying ways. Poking and prodding at me, shaking me a little bit, puttint the cat on me, messing with my hair, and whatever other annoying things she can think of at the current moment, though those things seem to be her favorites. Then she leaves my door open for the cat to get in. And usually she's waking me up when I'm taking a nap when I'm exhausted and have nothing to do. Then I have to get Rupert (my cat) out of my room so he doesn't try to eat my mice or something, though he hasn't tried before, and he's usually under my bed, so this isn't any easy task. >_< Yeah, I probably sound awfully whiny, but I really don't care. Fact is, I don't like to be woken up when I'm exhausted and I don't want my mice eaten.

And about my cell phone...that's my ALARM. My cell phone serves many functions for me. It's my alarm, as I said, it's my watch/clock; calendar; phonebook; basic calculator; and, obviously, my phone. I use it mostly for a watch and alarm than anything. And my mom is constantly calling me irresponsible for whatever reason (I really can't figure this one out) and then she goes and takes the very thing that keeps me *on schedule*. *deep breathe* Okay...must stop trying to figure her out...just vent...>_< I seriously need to stop trying to figure my mom out because I already have *myself* to figure out, and that's enough for me. I'm on the verge of going back to completely ignoring her because she just stresses me out too much and I feel like I'm gonna put my head through a goddamn wall. Same with my family therapist. I had to see her last night and I'm surprised I lasted the time that I did with her. I believe I was in the living room with her and my mom for at least 28 minutes and then I just went up to my room and lost myself in a book because I couldn't stand it anymore.

Honestly, Elisa can just shove her coping mechanisms up her ass. I'm just going to completely disregard everything said in family sessions and do things how I have to do them because this therapy is just making things worse for me. What helps me most is what helps me most and this is not one of those things.


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