Thursday, November 20, 2008

(Formerly?) Abusive Brother Needs an Intervention...Fast!

Yeah, it's been ages since I've posted...and I was planning on posting everyday, but my mom is an idiot and about a week ago or less the computer was shutting itself off the very second it got turned on. Meaning we had a virus, because it was running fine before. Excluding the ├╝ber slowness of the browser every now and again. Thing is, we run a Mac, so we had to have been targeted. I got the computer up and running and ran a virus scan from housecall.trendmicro.com (good website, go there if you need it) and found that we had *39* viruses. Holy FUCK. Someone targeted us. You don't just pick that shit up. Thing is, I had downloaded 3 of those viruses on accident, but they were .exe files that I couldn't open, so they really couldn't do anything. They were also the same file, but I only downloaded it once, so it had to have duplicated itself. About the other viruses: They were all on my mom's files. She had to have been targeted specifically. Once I got rid of the 3 viruses I had downloaded accidentally (two worm_nucrp.gen and one adw_renos) we had *21* w97m_generic viruses, which is an unknown type of virus. It seems that it duplicates itself and attaches itself to random files because it was on our grocery list, of all places....We also had 15 of the virus wm_cap.a, which I couldn't find much information about. When I tried to tell my mom about all of this, she insisted there was absolutely nothing wrong with the computer and I told her there were macros on numerous files and asked her if she even knew what a macro *was*. She dodged the question every time I asked. Eventually, she locked every computer account so only she could access them, and she hardly uses this computer. *rolls eyes* Idiot...I try to fix the computer and she decides to bitch and lock it? Very smart idea.

On to the actual subject.

My brother seriously needs to get out of here. Or I need to. I'd prefer that I do. Garrett's constantly making threats to kill other people and me and my mom doesn't do anything because he's been doing it for years. I can't call the police because they don't listen to me because they have to come over here all the time due to "family drama." I suppose the best thing I can do is tell my cop friends...good thing I know them....

~Tsual

Friday, November 7, 2008

Of All the Idiotic Things...

My mother took my cell phone and tried to take my money this morning. She took my cell phone because I've supposedly been using up all the minutes. And this morning (actually, only roughly 15 minutes ago) she woke me up for my meds (because she insists she has to watch me take them) and to wake me up she walks in the room and bursts out, "Oh! Money!" because I had thirteen dollars sitting on my drawing board next to my mouse cage. Then I got extremely pissed (why would someone want to be woken up in that manner?) and argued with her about her methods of waking me up. Then she took my money, which I've been trying to save up, and I only get so much a week because I don't have a job (and getting one isn't the best idea right now, considering my state of mind) and wouldn't give it back until I took my meds. I'm am so sick of her. She's always waking me up in the most annoying ways. Poking and prodding at me, shaking me a little bit, puttint the cat on me, messing with my hair, and whatever other annoying things she can think of at the current moment, though those things seem to be her favorites. Then she leaves my door open for the cat to get in. And usually she's waking me up when I'm taking a nap when I'm exhausted and have nothing to do. Then I have to get Rupert (my cat) out of my room so he doesn't try to eat my mice or something, though he hasn't tried before, and he's usually under my bed, so this isn't any easy task. >_< Yeah, I probably sound awfully whiny, but I really don't care. Fact is, I don't like to be woken up when I'm exhausted and I don't want my mice eaten.

And about my cell phone...that's my ALARM. My cell phone serves many functions for me. It's my alarm, as I said, it's my watch/clock; calendar; phonebook; basic calculator; and, obviously, my phone. I use it mostly for a watch and alarm than anything. And my mom is constantly calling me irresponsible for whatever reason (I really can't figure this one out) and then she goes and takes the very thing that keeps me *on schedule*. *deep breathe* Okay...must stop trying to figure her out...just vent...>_< I seriously need to stop trying to figure my mom out because I already have *myself* to figure out, and that's enough for me. I'm on the verge of going back to completely ignoring her because she just stresses me out too much and I feel like I'm gonna put my head through a goddamn wall. Same with my family therapist. I had to see her last night and I'm surprised I lasted the time that I did with her. I believe I was in the living room with her and my mom for at least 28 minutes and then I just went up to my room and lost myself in a book because I couldn't stand it anymore.

Honestly, Elisa can just shove her coping mechanisms up her ass. I'm just going to completely disregard everything said in family sessions and do things how I have to do them because this therapy is just making things worse for me. What helps me most is what helps me most and this is not one of those things.

~Tsual

Thursday, November 6, 2008

6AM Mouses @_@

There is only one reason I am up right now: My oh-so-adorable, yet vicious, Arabian Spiny mice, Elliott and Gerard. I can't figure out why they're so chattery lately. Maybe it's the cold...I suppose I should probably put the heat lamp on. This is rather conflicting. I really don't want to be sleeping with a red light on at night....*thinks* I suppose I could always knit them little sweaters, but I am NOT doing that. xD They'd bite me more and I can't stand to see dogs in them, so why would I want to see my MICE in them?

My day is going to be completely thrown off by this...ugh...and I have to meet Ruby, my tutor, at the library today at 2. Hopefully I can get enough sleep and have Mrs. Barry's Geography final and work done. Sometimes being homebound sucks, but it's better than being stuck inside a school full of immature assholes that are just going to literally push me around and try to bash my skull in. >_> Besides, I get a lot more time, even if I have to do a lot more pointless work (assuming I have a teacher like Mrs. Barry...). I really wish I had *one day* to get in her class, though. I'd irritate the shit out of her. Just because I think I'm becoming dumber in her class. Her Africa packet is incredibly out-of-date. It says that *Zaire* is still a country...x_x WTF? I've written so many sarcastic things on her packets...and I've even gotten responses! It's actually rather hilarious. I'm serious about what I say and she is, too. But she isn't sarcastic about it. She's even said that she knows her work is out-of-date, but she won't do anything about it. What, am I supposed to take this up with the school board? If I were in her class for that one day I'd just argue with her for the entire hour and a half. Mind you, the arguing would be valid and have a point. It wouldn't just be, "Oh, shut up, you're an idiot." Well...it'd be like that, but in a more intelligent and very valid way with many points as to WHY she's acting idiotic.

I think I'll go play Sims 2 for awhile until my brother gets up and then go sleep for awhile....Then I have more Geography work to do. Then I'm FREE! HA!

~Tsual

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

To Kick Things Off...

I'll probably add an actual entry for the day later on, but I figured I should make an "about me" entry of sorts. I started this blog because my friend recommended that I do so. Really, I just don't feel like venting to my therapist (or the family one, anyway). She's the one I see most often and I can't stand her. I don't know when I see my individual one and I honestly don't even know her name. The therapy program I'm in is ridiculous. It does nothing for me. Not that I expect everything to be done for me. Not at all. It's just that it's obvious that one cannot do everything alone. I asked Elisa (my family therapist, whom I also see alone, unfortunately on the same day I see her with the family) for some help finding a longer-term treatment facility to stay in because therapy was not helping me and being in my house is just making things worse and she looked at me, confused, and asked what I was asking for. I told her her license should be revoked and I don't know how she got it in the first place, among other things....

I just need to get out of here as soon as possible. And school. High school is a bitch. And I'm done with it. I'm ready for college and I have been for ages. I was already in ATYP English (Academically Talented Youth Program). That's higher than AP College English. I can't understand why the school won't let me go to the community college and move on the university if I'm ready for it. I looked up the information already. I wouldn't need to get a GED or anything, just take the proficiency test. My mother acts as if I don't have a mind of my own, which makes no sense because if I didn't I wouldn't have been able to look up all of the information I needed.

Anyway, I'm gonna go now before this turns into an entire entry and I have nothing to write about later.

~Tsual